We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
