her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
