Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
