Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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