No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
