Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
You made out with two different species that night
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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