Your tits are I can't wait for
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
