Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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