Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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