3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
