He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Sober January is a disaster.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
