i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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