win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
