would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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