i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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