So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
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