Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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