Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
