Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
