i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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