were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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