your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
