Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
