She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
