New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
