i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
