Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
