some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
