Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
