I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
