what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
