I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
