i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
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