You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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