That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
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