I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
from now on my penis is your penis
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
