I'm going to jail i love you
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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