Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
