How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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