His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
