Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Randomize
