Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
