but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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