Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
