1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
