Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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