Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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