I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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