So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
