dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
